July 2018 - Kristin Saatzer

Junior High School called and it wants its hurt feelings back.

Oh, Middle school. This demographic gets a bad rap sometimes, but I (usually) enjoy these humans, even though extra grace is often required.

This stage of life is challenging for most. Many kids ooze insecurity, hold grudges, exaggerate stories, gossip, bully, and think narrow-mindedly.

Hmmm… Sounds like some grown-ups, doesn’t it?

Those of us active on social media see this type of behavior daily. It is oftentimes a mean scene on the World Wide Web, and in Junior High. Offense Gone Wild. Only, from my perspective, the kids aren’t as jaded as the adults and they forgive easier.

I was unfriended on Facebook for not liking someone’s celebration post, for not inviting someone to lunch, and blocked because I left an organization. I was reviled for my Christian faith and shunned because of a misunderstood family dynamic. Ah… the fun of social media.

My internet and other “real life”experiences, trained me to tiptoe around certain people, to consider my message at length before I speak, post, or send a text or email. I find myself worried that I might cause hurt feelings, even by the most casual-type of spoken or written word. I am a pleaser peacemaker and I fret that I may unintentionally offend these persons by just being me.

It is exhausting.

Most of us have experienced, seen, and yes, inflicted offense in life and online. One of my favorite books is Unoffendable by Brant Hansen. Here is the quote from the dedication page of the book:

“To all those who want grace for themselves but struggle to extend it to others.

Wait: that’s everybody.”

God is funny sometimes. As I jotted down notes for this post, a discussion took place between my twenty-one-year-old son and me. He asked me to stop making dentist and doctor appointments for him, he said he wants to make them from now on, and explained his reason. I was somewhat offended! My feelings, injured for a few minutes (because Mom knows best) until I laughed at the timing, and let the hurt melt away.Continue Reading

“Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy…”

Psalm 126:2a NIV

My sister Jeni is sunshine and smiles and one of the best gifts the Lord has given me. She paints levity and joy in every room she enters. God’s good medicine is my little sis.

She and I together have celebrated America’s birthday oodles of times. However, our experience two years ago was the best one out of all for me. A day of God’s sweet grace, hope, and healing.

The week of July 4th, 2016, my sister and her family drove down from Oregon to SoCal for vacation and time with loved ones.

Less than a month earlier, my family of six experienced trauma. The deepest waters of my life. As the awful continued, I believed I would never laugh again. Maybe a chuckle here or there I conceded, but sheer, deep belly- laughter vanished forever.

I was in a pit so deep that I had to push myself out of bed in the mornings. Nights of insomnia and tears were my consistent companions.

But when one has family in town, one must rally. And so I did. We enjoyed beach days, went to a Neil Diamond cover band concert, and ate and ate and ate. A sweet diversion from the ache and reality of our circumstances. God used our dear ones from Oregon as a healing balm over our seeping wounds.

On July 4th, we gathered at my dad’s house for a day of swimming, tennis, food, and then fireworks. A day burned beautiful in my mind and heart. To my surprise, I howled that day; full belly-laughter all day long! God used my sis to shine a light in my tunnel of darkness. We were silly sisters once again: inside jokes, conversing in our own “language”, dancing, and singing. I joined Jeni in her infectious world of joy and delight. The group of us played, sang and danced to Neil Diamond music, and introduced our kids to him in our weirdo way. I felt unfettered, carefree and yes, surprised by my laughter.

As we drove home that evening, tears of gratitude fell. My boys, concerned after witnessing so much sorrow in me in the last weeks, asked me what was wrong with fear in their eyes. The words would not come as I sobbed, the mix of emotions overwhelmed me. Yet, in that moment, my heart understood that we were going to be okay.

We are okay.Continue Reading