ONCE upon a Christmas-season morning, I freaked out in my living room. I am not sure what was said to or asked of me that Saturday morning, but it was all I could bear, and I lost it. All my ugly, stuffed emotions erupted. My five males and one dog watched in horror as I screeched and wailed.
In holiday’s past, I was an exhausted mom – over doing, over being, overspending, and overwhelming my people! But because I attend the school of Holiday Hard Knocks, I learned from my tendency to over-everything, and today I have a passing report card.
My pleaser personality was so hyper-focused on creating a beautiful, abundant holiday for others, that I left my tightly wound, empty, exhausted, and on the brink of eruption-self behind. When the clock struck January 1, I felt like I had somewhat missed the season – my soul and body drained.
Along the way, I decided I didn’t want to miss it anymore.
I learned to abundantly experience the holidays and prioritize Expectations and Soul-care/Self-care.
Expectations are resentments waiting to happen
In the school of Holiday Hard Knocks, I failed the Expectation Class, multiple times.
Unmet expectations can be crippling. Even devastating. They can rob our holiday joy and replace it with coal, or a holiday tizzy fit.
It is vital to look with clear eyes at our plans and communicate with loved ones (and ourselves!) about gifts, family gatherings, financial realities, and… fill in your blank. I find it best not to make assumptions or to place my hope in people or situations until communication has taken place. And even then, I aim to keep an open hand and heart with eyes of grace. Friends, relatives, coworkers, and neighbors can and will disappoint. As do we.
Self-care is not selfish. You cannot serve from an empty vessel
As I asses my self-care, I divide it into three categories: spiritual, emotional, and physical…Continue Reading