Snacking on grapes and looking through the mail a few days ago, I heard my son say, “I’m thinking about going to Africa.” I giggled as I looked up- sure that he was joking. But he wasn’t. He went on to explain that the World Health Organization is looking for people to help in regions where the horrific Ebola outbreak continues.
He is twenty. Now I understand that young men hovering around this age are subject to flights of fancy. He and his seventeen year old brother tell me regularly about the road trips they plan to take and other adventures soon to come. BUT AFRICA? EBOLA?
After choking on my grape, I took a deep breath and started asking “mom questions”. Questions beyond, “Do you have enough underwear?” I’ve learned during these conversations that there are no logical answers to my queries. No answers regarding cost, logistics, and how do you do something like this and not contract the disease?
This is a guy who has been to Haiti twice and Mexico more times than I can remember. We have encouraged (sometimes required) our boys to serve and give and sacrifice.
But this is too much. My faith isn’t big enough for this. My faith.
I know the odds of this trip happening are smaller than a grain of sand. But it unsettled me as I pondered the smallness of my faith.
Twenty years ago, I stood before family and friends and dedicated my son to God. Holding that chubby, precious baby boy- I told the Lord that my son belonged to Him.
Does he really?
The parenting voyage is not a one-time dedication. It is an obstacle course of faith and trust.
It was easy to dedicate my immobile baby to God. He needed me for almost everything, I was in control.
Loosening my grip has been a painful, heart wrenching experience. But it is my only option.
My pint-size faith is increasing as I dedicate and release my four precious sons daily to God.
This mama’s faith and trust MUST stay focused on a Sovereign God. He is not pint-sized but mighty and in control.
Even in Africa.
“So I have also dedicated him to the LORD; as long as he lives he is dedicated to the LORD…”
1 Samuel 1:28