gratitude Archives - Kristin Saatzer

The Paradox of Gratitude and Guilt: 5 Points to Ponder

November 7, 2022 By Kristin Saatzer 2 Comments

“But I, with shouts of grateful praise, will sacrifice to You…”

Jonah 2:9a NIV

“Finish your soup! There are starving children in China who would love to have it.” Sitting at my grandparent’s table with my sister and two cousins, we glared at the bowls of tomato soup in front of us. Glancing at one another, agreeing by the rolling of four sets of eyes, we were more than willing to ship our foul soup off to China.

I appreciate the values my depression-era grandparents instilled in us (and what I wouldn’t give to sit at a table with them again). But unfortunately, picturing poor Chinese kids did not help me want my soup.

Yet this was a pivotal moment in my life’s journey that led me to muse over my good fortune, wrestle with feelings of guilt, and write out questions in my pink Barbie diary (it even had a lock and key).

Why did God allow me to live in the USA?

Why wasn’t I one of the starving children in China?

Why was I born… ME?

As a child, I didn’t exude gratefulness. Sure, I had my moments, but I was a typical upper-middle-class American kid. My every need was provided for, and I was loved dearly, yet entitled. I never saw or met a truly poor child until well into adolescence.

During my adult life, I’ve had opportunities to see and meet poor children: American kids in the foster and school systems and kids in Mexico living in dumps and begging on the streets. I have met homeless orphans and been with children of Mexican prisoners living in boxes next to the prison. Precious kids needing a bowl of tomato soup and oh so much more.

Because of these experiences and by God’s grace, I have grown into a grateful woman (most of the time).Continue Reading

Thanks-living

November 20, 2018 By Kristin Saatzer 6 Comments

“The one who offers thanksgiving as His sacrifice glorifies me.”

Psalm 50:23b ESV

November has not been kind to California. We lament as stories of suffering and death and horror continue to assault us. Have mercy, Lord. Have mercy!

As we roll into Thanksgiving we see “Give Thanks” signs in stores and homes. We scroll through Facebook and read posts of gratefulness. However, for some, coming up with a blessing is like finding a black cat on a moonless night. Seemingly impossible. Too much pain in the heart to search for good. Where does one begin after losing a child in a shooting or losing a home or an entire town to a fire?

A friend of mine who lost her child, once shared with me that she found it took too much effort in her grief-crippled state to come up with something she could be thankful for. She said it was a sacrifice to try to do so.Continue Reading

Thank You, Zeke

October 29, 2018 By Kristin Saatzer Leave a Comment

IF I was to have another baby boy, I would name him Ezekiel (meaning “God strengthens”). I adore this name and especially the nickname, Zeke. This moniker fits with the rest of the names of my sons. They are Samuel, Noah, Josiah, and Micah. My husband is Daniel. We took the Jewish name route. However, the birthing ship sailed from our harbor 14 years ago, so no baby Ezekiel for this fam. By the way, if that birthing ship sailed back in (after being released from intensive shock therapy), I might win an “Oldish-Lady Birthing Record” for my region. I did hear that Janet Jackson had a baby at age 50.

Lord bless her.

Anyway, back to Ezekiel. Zeke was a major prophet in the Old Testament. This guy preached to the Israelites held captive in Babylon; sort of a street corner preacher with a dramatic flair. He announced God’s plans for the fall of Jerusalem, and he admonished the people for their attachment to foreign nations and wicked ways. In the hopeful end of the book of Ezekiel, He foretold of future salvation for the children of God.

Today I want to hone in on some of Ezekiel 34. This passage of promise reinvigorated me as I read it recently. I encourage you to read chapter 34, you will find rich messianic metaphors of God as our Shepherd. Beautiful and woeful stuff.

Moved as I read, when by verse 16, tears dripped on my Bible as hope welled in my soul.

I will seek what was lost and bring back what was driven away, bind up the broken and strengthen what was sick… (Ezekiel 34:16a, NKJV)

In my journal, I script prayers for dear ones with seemingly impossible situations. I pray each day for two troubled young people. Sometimes their conditions seem beyond hope. Their depression and lostness beyond help. This Ezekiel passage freshly reminds me of God’s relentless love as the words jump from the page and hug me.

Also found on the pages of my journal are stories and remembrances of answered prayers and God’s faithfulness. Chronicles of healed souls, healed families and healed bodies. Myself included. These personal accounts and the words of Ezekiel increase my courage and remind me to pray big prayers, to claim the lost and the broken for Christ. I am grateful to Ezekiel for painting a picture of our Good Shepherd who has marked His sheep with His stripes of love.

Our Shepherd:

Seeks and Searches for the lost (verse 11)
Delivers his sheep from their scattered places ( verse 12)
Brings them to their own land (verse 13)
Feeds them in good pastures (verse 14)
Restores the lost (verse 16)
Brings back what was driven away (verse 16)
Binds up the broken (verse 16)
Strengthens what was sick (verse 16)

“Christ chooses us, buys us, calls us by name,

makes us His own,

and delights in

caring for us.”

W. Phillip Keller

My friend, can you proudly say, “The Lord is my shepherd”?

Are you under His charge?

Do you trust God’s words from Ezekiel as you pray for your scattered, broken or sick loved ones?

Are you comforted in the knowledge that your Shepherd seeks out the lost?

Renew yourself in God’s word, enliven your prayers with expectation! I urge you to spend time in reflection, thanks, and petition today as you ponder the questions above and read the words of our hope-dispensing prophet Zeke.

Gosh, I love this name. Maybe my next dog?

The Opposite of Romans 6:13

September 14, 2018 By Kristin Saatzer 4 Comments

Give yourselves to God…

surrender your whole being to Him to be used for righteous purpose.

Romans 6:13 TEV

The day was toast. I was toast. In an almost vegetative state, lounged across my bed with phone in hand, I scrolled through Instagram. I barely registered my son’s voice as it echoed in my ear. How long had he been sitting there? I sat up as it dawned on me that Micah had walked into my room earlier, and talked to me the entire time. As if not noticing him wasn’t bad enough, I had actually responded to him as I scrolled (“uh huh”, “really”, “wow”, “that’s funny”). I stopped my multi-tasking and stared at my child.

Now, this boy has an advanced degree in the spoken word, and he’s only 14. Micah thinks verbally and needs to dump about 100,000 words per day. In the summertime, without his classmates around, I am usually the “dumpee” for the much of those words. Just sayin’. Still, pretending to listen and focusing elsewhere is the opposite of the way I want to mother him.

Anyway, as conviction bubbled in me, I apologized to this great kid of mine and he forgave me. Then, without missing a beat, continued his story.

I confess this is not an isolated occurrence, neither are the many “unrighteous” actions or choices I make. That is why the verse above, Romans 6:13, is a surrender scripture I memorized this year, my year of Surrender.

The Lord continues to show me areas where I have not yielded my “whole being to Him“. I want to “be used for righteous purpose“. In whatever big or small ways the Lord may lead.

There are days when my life, my brain, or my actions look the opposite of Romans 6:13: my whole being is sure not surrendered to Him and I ain’t being used for a righteous purpose.

Besides ignoring my kid, lately, I have struggled with anxiety. My mind and stomach bubbling with “what ifs” and “how is this going to work?”. This summer, I exhausted heaps of emotional energy trying to figure out “how it was going to work” with my dad’s health and healthcare needs. I also worried about one of my sons, asking myself “what if?” repeatedly. After I relinquished these heavy loads at God’s feet, I would sneak back in and haul them out again.

My friends, this verse from Romans whispers to my heart. I crave the freedom my Savior gives. I dislike the burden of worry I sometimes carry. So, why do I do the opposite of what I want to do?Continue Reading