Journaling Archives - Kristin Saatzer

Those Who Are Wise

May 11, 2020 By Kristin Saatzer 7 Comments

Are you tired of hearing, “This is the new normal”? Me too. I want the old normal back… or do I?

I mean the notion of toilet paper and soap in my store again is terrific, and how about going back to church? Amen to that! But can the new dance of our lives move to a wiser beat? I pray so.

When I chose wisdom as my word of the year, of course, I knew nothing of the coming pandemic. How could any of us know when the calendar turned to the fresh year and decade, that our world, our country, our towns, and much of our lives would shut down? That people we know (or we) would fall ill from this menace and loved ones would pass from its force.

Therefore, my quest for wisdom intensified while I looked for meaning as I’ve stepped into each abnormal day since March of 2020.

I jotted down some ponderings for us as we embark on the journey in the altered world. Join me here, feel free to write down your thoughts.

What do you miss?

Stuff? Probably not.

A few weeks ago, my pal, Kimberly, and I traded texts about the fallout in each of our lives from COVID. She asked the question, “What do you miss the most?” I replied with a sort of top-five list and then asked her the same question. Later, I realized that in our musings, neither answered with material missings. It was all about people.

What are your top five?

What will you leave?

Somethings from the lockdown are best left behind – like gray roots and pajamas until 4:00 PM among them.

So, I examine myself and considered what no longer serves me, what has never served me. In the fire of the first weeks, fear’s shackles often grasped me as the what-ifs slithered through my anxious brain.

How I wish I could bury fear in a hole along with the virus. Yet, God’s strong hand guides me as we defeat this fear-foe step by step.

Is there a spiritual struggle or character defect you long to throw in the Corona trash bin? Talk to God about it, seek help, and begin to lay it down to leave behind.

What growth do you see in yourself due to this time of refining? Continue Reading

Thanks-living

November 20, 2018 By Kristin Saatzer 6 Comments

“The one who offers thanksgiving as His sacrifice glorifies me.”

Psalm 50:23b ESV

November has not been kind to California. We lament as stories of suffering and death and horror continue to assault us. Have mercy, Lord. Have mercy!

As we roll into Thanksgiving we see “Give Thanks” signs in stores and homes. We scroll through Facebook and read posts of gratefulness. However, for some, coming up with a blessing is like finding a black cat on a moonless night. Seemingly impossible. Too much pain in the heart to search for good. Where does one begin after losing a child in a shooting or losing a home or an entire town to a fire?

A friend of mine who lost her child, once shared with me that she found it took too much effort in her grief-crippled state to come up with something she could be thankful for. She said it was a sacrifice to try to do so.Continue Reading

I Would Have Lost Heart… The Practice of Gratitude: Part 8

November 26, 2017 By Kristin Saatzer 4 Comments

The Practice of Gratitude: Part 8

Psalm 27:13-14 New King James Version (NKJV)

¹³I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.

¹⁴Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!

I would have lost heart, the scripture says…

I am the blessed mother of four amazing dudes. This passage of scripture from Psalm 27 was a familiar one when my circus was young. I returned to these words often. I truly would have lost heart unless I believed these wild ones would grow up with just a teaspoon of civility. I grabbed courage as I prayed they would show goodness to one another at some point in their maturity (goodness in the land of my living!) My life was a bevy of chaos, broken things, fights, noise, emotional outbursts, and fun. Little piggies ate at my table and monkeys climbed my kitchen. I agree with those who say that parenting is not for cowards or the faint of heart. Still, I was thankful for it all.

My youngest is now 13 and my brood is mostly civilized. Thank you, Jesus! My prayers for them continue, even more so. As I glance back at the tragic global events of this fall, I must find the courage to release my sons to fly in such a world.

Have you found yourself losing heart these days? I sure have. The news has given us some tough pills to swallow lately.

I would have lost heart

Yet! There is good on this globe. This is where I connect the dots between our scripture above and The Practice of Gratitude. In all the events this fall, natural and human-made disasters, we saw people acting bravely. Good people risked their lives for others. We’ve read of generosity beyond measure. The goodness of the Lord in the Land of the living, we do not need to mine deep to discover it.

When I focus on the negative and heartbreaking, and the world my boys face, I lose heart. Therefore, the antidote is a practice of gratitude.

As I have shared in earlier blogs, I keep a journal where I record my gratitude. As of today, I have a list of 5,146. Here’s a few from my list this week: apple pie, four boys together for Thanksgiving, didn’t have to drive today, phone time with sis, health insurance, breath in my lungs, friendship with Sarah, orange/red/purple leaves, yellow/green butterflies in my yard… I wait on Him here as I jot down sweet blessings. He fills me with the courage to face the scary. Oh, how God strengthens my heart. Every. Single. Day.

Intentional gratitude changed my life.

Intentional gratitude changes my days.

Do not lose heart, my friend. Wait on God, be of good courage, and He will strengthen your heart. I challenge you to record your gratefulness. Mine for the goodness of the Lord in the Land of the Living. It will change your life. It will change your days.

“How precious are My children who remember to thank Me at all times. They can walk through the darkest days with joy in their hearts because they know that the Light of My Presence is still shining on them.”

~Jesus Calling

Photo by Magda Fou on Unsplash

I Wish I Had Your Life

February 20, 2017 By Kristin Saatzer 2 Comments

The Practice of Gratitude: Part 1

We purchased a house needing tons of work during my fourth pregnancy. As moving day approached, the doctor placed me on partial bed rest. It was a stressful time: moving preparations, finishing our home school year, caring for my boys and the little one inside me. Life found me tired, overwhelmed, and huge. Not the epitome of a grateful human.

Cheating on the doctor’s orders one morning, the boys and I snuck to Trader Joe’s. My blood pressure began to boil as we shopped. My brood behaved badly. Instead of helping me as planned, they argued. Then, when not arguing, two of them made gun and burp sounds while the one in the cart barked like a dog at full decibel.

I walked away from our cart o’ fun to a small corner of the small store. As a mental breakdown took place in my head, I wondered: Why did I ever have kids? Why were my kids the naughtiest children ever? Was I CRAZY in having another one? Why hadn’t God just given me one little girl as my plan had been? How was I going to handle an eternity of listening to burp and gun sounds?

Once I semi-got a grip, I turned around and there standing next to my cart talking to the boys was my friend. My infertile friend.

Poor thing, I unloaded on her. As I spoke, her eyes clouded, while she listened sweetly. She then replied, “Kris, I know you are hormonal and tired. The boys are challenging. But think about this: I wish I had your life. I just want one child and you have four.”

So, I got down on my swollen knees and begged her to trade lives with me!Continue Reading