Parenting Archives - Kristin Saatzer

Faithful

May 20, 2021 By Kristin Saatzer 6 Comments

“God is faithful, who has called you into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.”

2 Thessalonians 3:3

It was a perfect day—one of the best days of my life, May 1, 2021. My oldest son, Samuel, got married to his darling girl. And now I have a daughter-in-love. After raising four boys, my heart is overjoyed that Lauren is now officially a Saatzer.

In the time preceding, I had moments when I thought I would not attend the wedding due to my months and months-long health battle. Yet, God was gracious to me; I felt fabulous that day and savored each miraculous moment.

The week before the big event, I took the photo albums out of the hall closet and spread them on the floor. I spent quite a bit of time on memory lane, lost in happy moments with my little Sammy. Those were golden days, my little buddy and me.

We spent much of our afternoons reading. Our favorite book was I Love You Forever. I even made up a song to go with it. I often cried when I read it to him as I imagined him moving away and starting his own family, like the boy in the book. I knew it would arrive quicker than I expected. And it did, with lightning speed.

As he grew, three brothers added more chaos and fun to the mix.

Sam’s strong personality kept me on my toes, and I made many mistakes. He knew who he was from his earliest days and, I am stronger in character for having mothered such a strong-willed son.

We remained close. Until …

The difficult upper teen years.

As I turned the pages of the albums from Sam’s middle school years and beyond, I was awash with wonderful and intense painful memories.

Times when I thought I had lost him. Times of experimentation with independence, rebellion, and struggle. Times when I was not his favorite person, nor he mine.

I took in the pictures of drop-off day at college, all six of us bawling.

Little by little, Sammy and I made our way back to one another. As he matured in his twenties so did our relationship. It changed- less mothering and more advising. It was a good fit.

And now, our relationship is shifting again.

As I gazed at our family photos, I realized that my son and I were standing on the precipice. Days away from pledging his whole self to another. This woman, not mom, will be the most important female in his life. By God’s design, that is the way it is supposed to be.

Sammy wrote me a letter and gave it to me on his wedding day. Among the beautiful words, He told me I was his first love. When I look back at the heartbreaking, messy moments between we two, never would I have imagined us landing here. Such affection. Such love. Such grace. The relationship for which I prayed.

As I closed the albums and hauled them back to the closet, my mind turned to my faithful Savior. Through all the years, through all the tough mom stages with my boy-turned-man, Jesus kept calling me and reminding me to be faithful right back. To Him. To my Sammy. To all my family. To my life.

To God be the glory.

“I love you forever, I like you for always, as long as I’m living my baby you’ll be. “

Just a Little Longer?

May 28, 2019 By Kristin Saatzer 4 Comments

I knew he did not want to face his mother falling apart that early September morning (or any day, really). But there I was in the kitchen, in my oh-so-attractive green robe, sporting wild bedhead, willing the tears to stop. I watched as my beloved third son pushed back his chair from the table and carried his cereal bowl to the sink.

Senior Year was already picking up steam. I learned with sons one and two how this final year of high school feels like it’s only two weeks long. During this kitchen-moment, as I observed my boy move through ordinary actions, I was struck anew with pointed awareness that this season of my life with Josiah would soon be finished. Emotions rushed to the surface as I pondered how unready I was to say good-bye to the everyday-ness of mothering this young man.

“Please let me mother you a little longer!”

No, I did not say these words aloud because, you know, psycho momma in the morning and all. Yet, this desire to hold onto him, to care for him, lives in me daily.

In reality, not much “mommying” happens the last year of high school. Senior Year Mom is a secretary, a cook, a cheerleader, and a money dispenser, who cries a lot.

Senior Year Mom takes morbid delight when her kid gets sick or needs her to take him to the dentist or doctor. She relishes the time spent together doing anything because he is gone so darn much and is terribly independent. She delights in his presence and hangs on his every word. Even when he rolls his eyes or gets irritated with her when he loses his own car keys, Senior Year Mom doesn’t mind. As much.

I savor the small moments: hearing him laugh with his little brother, listening to him playing the piano as I cook dinner, and watching him greet the dog as he steps through the door.

If I could measure the hours spent in prayer for this son and his three brothers, it might equal months. If I could hold the tears that fell while on my knees, they might fill a small pond.

I prayed for my sons to be men of character. That they would have hearts for the broken. That God would shape them and refine them. But I did not want them to undergo refinement by fire. My plan was not to fill a pond with my tears. I wanted safe, happy, wholesome lives for my precious ones. Yes, I knew some trials must happen, and I conceded to the Lord there. But God, no biggies, please.

God did not obey.

I Wish I Had Your Life

February 20, 2017 By Kristin Saatzer 2 Comments

The Practice of Gratitude: Part 1

We purchased a house needing tons of work during my fourth pregnancy. As moving day approached, the doctor placed me on partial bed rest. It was a stressful time: moving preparations, finishing our home school year, caring for my boys and the little one inside me. Life found me tired, overwhelmed, and huge. Not the epitome of a grateful human.

Cheating on the doctor’s orders one morning, the boys and I snuck to Trader Joe’s. My blood pressure began to boil as we shopped. My brood behaved badly. Instead of helping me as planned, they argued. Then, when not arguing, two of them made gun and burp sounds while the one in the cart barked like a dog at full decibel.

I walked away from our cart o’ fun to a small corner of the small store. As a mental breakdown took place in my head, I wondered: Why did I ever have kids? Why were my kids the naughtiest children ever? Was I CRAZY in having another one? Why hadn’t God just given me one little girl as my plan had been? How was I going to handle an eternity of listening to burp and gun sounds?

Once I semi-got a grip, I turned around and there standing next to my cart talking to the boys was my friend. My infertile friend.

Poor thing, I unloaded on her. As I spoke, her eyes clouded, while she listened sweetly. She then replied, “Kris, I know you are hormonal and tired. The boys are challenging. But think about this: I wish I had your life. I just want one child and you have four.”

So, I got down on my swollen knees and begged her to trade lives with me!Continue Reading

I So Proud!

October 17, 2016 By Kristin Saatzer 2 Comments

When my son, Josiah, was three, he would often say, “I so proud” after catching one of us doing something “good”. I can still hear his raspy voice sputtering those words. Sweet words. Sweet boy.

“I’m proud of you” is a blessing given to many in the world of kid-dome. Josiah heard this expression and felt encouraged by it, and passed it on. Children often hear these words spoken by parents, teachers, and coaches; honey to their little souls. However, as they grow into adulthood, this affirmation is given less and less.

There are many people in my life of whom I’m proud. Not just my kids.

I watched my mom and step-dad move from state to state to care for my grandparents in their last years. What a touching act of love this was. I am watching my dad and aunt care for my grandmother in her nineties. My aunt handling the day-to-day responsibilities and difficulties; my dad traveling from SD to Phoenix to manage the finances. I am proud of all of them and affected by their example.

I see moms making tough, mature decisions about their kids. I see them sacrifice to the point of heroics. I admire friends going back to school, trying new careers, or staying in hard jobs to pay the bills. I view loved ones doing scary-brave things. People in my world are righting wrongs and fighting injustice. Some caring for ill parents and ill children, others in counseling and recovery. What admiration I have for them.

This is not the self-pride the Bible warns us of.

This is other-pride.

I am well pleased with you pride.

We find examples in God’s word:

~God refers to David as “A man after God’s own heart”. David strove to be who God wanted him to be in the midst of his humanity and sin. See 1 Samuel 13:14 and Acts 13:22

~In the Parable of the Talents the master tells his servant, “Well done my good and faithful servant.” See Mathew 25:23

~In Mark 14:9 we see the disciples and others mocking a woman for bringing expensive oil to anoint Jesus. Jesus rebuked them saying, “Let her alone. Why are you giving her a hard time? She has just done something wonderfully significant for me… She did what she could when she could—she pre-anointed my body for burial. And you can be sure that wherever in the whole world the Message is preached, what she just did is going to be talked about admiringly.” The Message

~God is proud of His only begotten son. He says so in Matthew 3:17, “This is my son in whom I’m well pleased!”

Our culture today seems consumed with negativity and the tearing down of others. I see the name calling and threats to “unfriend” on social media because of political and religious differences. And the news! Watching the news is depressing enough, but in election season, it is downright dismal. The finger-pointing and mudslinging drive me to eat a lot of chocolate.

So, how do we abate this yuck? As we take our focus off the news (and chocolate), we find many precious ones in need of encouragement. People in our world desperate for sweet, uplifting words. A friend or family member who hasn’t heard “I’m proud of you!” for a long time.

Is it your heart’s desire to follow God instead of cultural negativity? To be a woman or man after God’s own heart? Truly, this is my desire. Other-pride is a great place to jump in. We can make a positive difference in a negative world by pouring kind words into our people. Honey to the soul.