Kristin Saatzer

Purposeful Encouragement

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The Last of the Lasts

August 28, 2022 By Kristin Saatzer 14 Comments

The speeding bullet train called time has stopped me in my tracks today as I wipe tears, giggle, and simmer in nostalgia. This morning, I took the LAST first day of school pictures. Never again will I take a picture of a boy of mine starting his first day of school. My baby is beginning his senior year, and wow, senior year is tough on a mama’s heart.

This “boy” of mine, our caboose, blasted into our lives over eighteen years ago. He was a tiny tornado with bright eyes, looking for mischief. Once he was mobile, his three older brothers learned that no LEGO creation, no game left out until later, no crayons or pencils were safe. Everything was fair game. He often tried to escape from the house to “break into” the neighbors, opening their doors and running right through. I once caught him chewing through a sealed block of cheese. Another time, a weeks-old, hard-as-a-rock gingerbread house. Climbing was a favorite past-time as he was an expert cabinet scaler. We had to hide bungee cords after catching him standing on our Golden Retriever, trying to connect a bungee from her collar to the ceiling fan. Micah enjoyed taking apart machinery, beds, computers, really anything that was put together.

When he was quiet, there was trouble. And when he wasn’t quiet? This kid loved hearing his own voice. The louder, the more delight. He would squeal, appreciating the echo when we were in large stores. My boy found fun in yelling his order (with a speech impediment) at food servers which made dining out a joy.

Discipline? He didn’t care about any stinkin’ discipline! My husband often arrived home from work to find me in tears, sometimes in the fetal position. I did not think I would survive this child. We worried about Micah’s future; and felt the odds were strong that a someday criminal was inhabiting this little body. His brother, Noah, tried to comfort us all when he said, “Don’t worry, most criminals are quiet.”

He could be deeply charming, especially to strangers. People at sporting events were his favorite targets. He would sidle up to someone enjoying a snack when my back was turned (or God-forbid, watching a brother play in his game) and charm them out of their licorice or hot dog or half-eaten anything. It was impressive. Sometimes if their back was turned, he would steal their half-eaten anything.

Despite the tempest, I saw my Micah’s sweetness in the rare moments of still waters (not just when a low-grade fever was involved). The tender soul who loved to help, please, and cuddle. My baby would always be just that, my baby. My last. So much of parenting is capturing the firsts: the first smile, first steps, the first day of school, the first dance… but with this last boy, I have intentionally tried to capture the lasts. These lasts are difficult to catch, so easy to miss. Did I recognize at the moment that it would be the last time he took a bed apart or yelled at a waiter? No. But more so, did I sense the last time I rocked or held him on my lap that this was it? His last time to wear his favorite dark blue shirt with a race car on the front. His last time to build a hot wheel track. Or when he presented me with the final crayon masterpiece to hang on our fridge. Thousands of little-boy moments that all come to an end. Continue Reading

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Just a Little Longer?

May 28, 2019 By Kristin Saatzer 4 Comments

I knew he did not want to face his mother falling apart that early September morning (or any day, really). But there I was in the kitchen, in my oh-so-attractive green robe, sporting wild bedhead, willing the tears to stop. I watched as my beloved third son pushed back his chair from the table and carried his cereal bowl to the sink.

Senior Year was already picking up steam. I learned with sons one and two how this final year of high school feels like it’s only two weeks long. During this kitchen-moment, as I observed my boy move through ordinary actions, I was struck anew with pointed awareness that this season of my life with Josiah would soon be finished. Emotions rushed to the surface as I pondered how unready I was to say good-bye to the everyday-ness of mothering this young man.

“Please let me mother you a little longer!”

No, I did not say these words aloud because, you know, psycho momma in the morning and all. Yet, this desire to hold onto him, to care for him, lives in me daily.

In reality, not much “mommying” happens the last year of high school. Senior Year Mom is a secretary, a cook, a cheerleader, and a money dispenser, who cries a lot.

Senior Year Mom takes morbid delight when her kid gets sick or needs her to take him to the dentist or doctor. She relishes the time spent together doing anything because he is gone so darn much and is terribly independent. She delights in his presence and hangs on his every word. Even when he rolls his eyes or gets irritated with her when he loses his own car keys, Senior Year Mom doesn’t mind. As much.

I savor the small moments: hearing him laugh with his little brother, listening to him playing the piano as I cook dinner, and watching him greet the dog as he steps through the door.

If I could measure the hours spent in prayer for this son and his three brothers, it might equal months. If I could hold the tears that fell while on my knees, they might fill a small pond.

I prayed for my sons to be men of character. That they would have hearts for the broken. That God would shape them and refine them. But I did not want them to undergo refinement by fire. My plan was not to fill a pond with my tears. I wanted safe, happy, wholesome lives for my precious ones. Yes, I knew some trials must happen, and I conceded to the Lord there. But God, no biggies, please.

God did not obey.

Continue Reading

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Celebrating another year of my dad’s life! 🎂 #grateful
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Celebrating another year of my dad’s life! 🎂 #grateful
6 days ago
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Grateful God gave me this one 29 years ago. AND that I get to celebrate with him today. He sure adds life & fun to our fam!
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Grateful God gave me this one 29 years ago. AND that I get to celebrate with him today. He sure adds life & fun to our fam!
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Happy (belated) birthday, dear Tangee! #dolls
Happy (belated) birthday, dear Tangee! #dolls
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Happy (belated) birthday, dear Tangee! #dolls
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I had a bit of fun in Dallas! #ccc23
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I had a bit of fun in Dallas! #ccc23
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Happy 26th to this fabulous son of mine! Noah, you are a light to all who know you - so funny, insightful, and loving. God sure blessed me with you.
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Happy 26th to this fabulous son of mine! Noah, you are a light to all who know you - so funny, insightful, and loving. God sure blessed me with you.
3 months ago
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5/16
“Behind all your stories is always your mother’s story, because hers is where yours begins.” – Mitch Albom
So thankful for your story, your life, and your love! Cheers to you, my fabulous mother. Happy birthday!
“Behind all your stories is always your mother’s story, because hers is where yours begins.” – Mitch Albom
So thankful for your story, your life, and your love! Cheers to you, my fabulous mother. Happy birthday!
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“Behind all your stories is always your mother’s story, because hers is where yours begins.” – Mitch Albom So thankful for your story, your life, and your love! Cheers to you, my fabulous mother. Happy birthday!
3 months ago
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6/16
Sweet reunion at the Reunion Kitchen!  Lovely friends from our newlywed days. 💕 So much fun reminiscing and catching up.
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Sweet reunion at the Reunion Kitchen! Lovely friends from our newlywed days. 💕 So much fun reminiscing and catching up.
3 months ago
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7/16
These are the good old days.
These are the good old days.
These are the good old days.
These are the good old days.
These are the good old days.
These are the good old days.
These are the good old days.
These are the good old days.
These are the good old days.
These are the good old days.
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These are the good old days.
3 months ago
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8/16
Yay, Micah Jack! 🎓
Yay, Micah Jack! 🎓
Yay, Micah Jack! 🎓
Yay, Micah Jack! 🎓
Yay, Micah Jack! 🎓
Yay, Micah Jack! 🎓
Yay, Micah Jack! 🎓
Yay, Micah Jack! 🎓
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Yay, Micah Jack! 🎓
4 months ago
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9/16
Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away. #graduationday🎓
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Congratulations! Today is your day. You're off to Great Places! You're off and away. #graduationday🎓
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10/16
Sister time!
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Sister time!
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11/16
Fun time celebrating our two grads on Sunday! They sure are loved. ♥️
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Fun time celebrating our two grads on Sunday! They sure are loved. ♥️
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12/16
Last day of high school. #thelasts #3daysuntilgraduation
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Last day of high school. #thelasts #3daysuntilgraduation
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This guy… #oneweekuntilgraduation #seniorawardsnight
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This guy… #oneweekuntilgraduation #seniorawardsnight
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The last boy had his last sports banquet last night. 
What an adventure these four years of baseball have been (Covid, injury, illness, and major back issues to boot). But mostly fun with fabulous memories. These senior boys are a special group. Proud of my Micah! #2weeksuntilgraduation #thelasts
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The last boy had his last sports banquet last night. What an adventure these four years of baseball have been (Covid, injury, illness, and major back issues to boot). But mostly fun with fabulous memories. These senior boys are a special group. Proud of my Micah! #2weeksuntilgraduation #thelasts
4 months ago
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15/16
My guys surprised me with a trip to LA to watch our Padres (missed Noah and Lauren). Too bad we didn't bring them luck.
My guys surprised me with a trip to LA to watch our Padres (missed Noah and Lauren). Too bad we didn't bring them luck.
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My guys surprised me with a trip to LA to watch our Padres (missed Noah and Lauren). Too bad we didn't bring them luck.
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