What is your Mountain?
“…For truly I tell you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”
Jesus speaking in Matthew 17:20 BSB
I am not a fighter. I am a peacemaker. I want the people I love to live in peace with the people they love. I was born this way to a certain extent, but buried motives lurk behind my craving for harmony. Life has scratched me up and along the way, I became a girl who works laboriously to keep her environment calm and non-combative. And as the mother of four rowdy, competitive boys, it is a never-ending battle and an impossible endeavor.
So, it might seem odd that my word for 2019 is FIGHT. Yet at the end of last year, I knew this word was my word, my need, and my purpose for the New Year. And when January 1 came to call, my fight began in a bigger way than I could have conceived. On that first night of the year, as terror sought to destroy me, I pulled my word out by the power of God Almighty – and the battle began.
As life moved forward, tearing at me and hitting me strong, fear took root and spread its ugly tentacles and became something I could keep covered if I dialed down the loud. The hard. The fight. I developed a craving to control, to keep the fear from controlling me. Yet this tightrope of juggling fear and control made me oh so tired. You might know something about this weary walk yourself.
The words of Jesus in Matthew 17:30 say, “Nothing will be impossible for you.” Nothing. From my place of exhaustion, I recently confessed to God that fear was my mountain and it needed to move. As I wept, God held my weary hands and gently took my tiny mustard seed of faith.
So, in faith, I began to fight. I am in a battle for this mountain of fear to move. Now that I recognize what it is, and the damage it has done, I want it gone!
After my time of weary surrender with my mustard seed, God gave me battle practice. Throughout the holiday season, I faced tremble-filled situations where I had the choice to shrink back or fight. This all culminated with a traumatic event on January 1, 2019.
I am not at a point where I am okay to share what I experienced that night. But I do hope to someday write the story of God’s miracle, two angels, and triumph over fear.
As I reflect on 2019 thus far, I recall the days where the tentacles of fright mastered me. But more so, I recall the days where my mustard seed-faith grew and the mountain moved, even if it was ever so slightly. When my fear-fighting faith makes strides, I celebrate each step. I march on into the year fighting a battle surrounded by a mighty God, held by a mighty God. This Savior, who in the end, along with you and I, will hold high the victory trophy.
No more fear, no more death, no more traumatic January firsts. No more mountains.
Thank you, Lord.
- Read Matthew 17:20 at the top of the post. Hold out your mustard seed faith. Consider your mountain.
- What is your mountain? Can you trust God with it?
- Claim this promise: “Nothing will be impossible for you!”