As I slide into the morning, a carpe diem outlook begins to brew (the assist goes to caffeine and oatmeal). God and I will conquer this day together I say to myself as I scratch out my to-do list. Possibility percolates as I ready my pen to check off my assignments. But here’s where it goes south. You see, I am an unrealistic list-maker. It would take me and a staff of ten to carry out what I intend to complete in a day. These twenty or so items on my fantasy-list waiting to be checked off after work, after driving my kid around, after I make dinner… are oh-so unrealistic. My self-measuring stick is a ruler lined with tasks.
I do believe I was created to conquer. But sometimes this belief lies in how much I can accomplish and when I come up short, I often deflate in defeat. As I shine a spotlight on this deflation, I find a woman whose feelings of dismay transcend beyond an incomplete list of to-does, to a place that whispers your value is based on what you accomplish.
The truth is, this is not the only area where I struggle with murmurs of self-doubt and a sinking self-esteem. My fight is long and storied.
I often peek at the people around me who seem to walk strong, not struggling with many downfalls, who appear accomplished. Still, they too may hear the whispers. The insecurity, brokenness, depression, addiction, financial yuck (among the list), may be the private backstory of their lives. A yearning to overcome, yet stuck in the mud of pain, sin, and secrets.
Are there hidden whispers in your hidden places too? Can I speak something to you? My friend, you were created to conquer.