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Graduation Gratitude

May 28, 2016 By Kristin Saatzer Leave a Comment

psalm 119 76Graduations bring reflection and sentimentality, don’t they? I find myself in that mode as another graduation approaches.

Motherhood surpasses anything in my natural gifting, energy level, and temperament. Had you told me in my youth I would be a mom someday, I would have laughed! Had you told me I would birth and raise four boys, I would have passed out or slapped you. It was not part of my plan.

But God.

His purposes for me blew up my imaginings and ideas for my life.

After five years of marriage, Dan and I became parents to Samuel. And I was born anew. Changed by love.

After Sammy, came Noah. Baby Noah loved his mommy. Sammy had been an equal opportunity baby. Not Noah. He was all about mom.

For eleven years (and two brothers later), Noah was my biggest fan: wanting to be my partner in games, insisting I cuddle with him every night, daily sharing his heart with me, and doing his school work attached to my side.

As his hormones invaded, things changed for us. My biggest fan grew distant. My silly, joyful-boy grew sad and serious. Because of Noah’s fast-flooding hormones- brooding and resentment took hold. He viewed me as his foe and was no longer my biggest fan.

It crushed me.

By observing friends, talking with my husband, and reading parenting books on boys, I knew this was somewhat normal and I had certainly experienced it with my first son.

However,  this time, it grieved me deeply.  In my gut, I felt betrayed. Even though my rational self said  otherwise.

But pain is a tool for growth, isn’t it? Pain is a tool God uses to strip away our reliance on the love and acceptance of others. Motherhood strips me clean and draws me closer to God like nothing else. Nothing.

Raw experiences in  my  journey with Noah, disloyalty, and rejection by loved ones led me to the unfailing, unconditional love of God. I needed to understand and believe it, to live in it. So, I filled my heart daily with big doses of God’s word, my healing  balm. I meditated on scripture that spoke of God’s unconditional love and acceptance for me. His unfailing love was my comfort as Psalm 119:76 says.

And His unfailing love is my comfort. When feelings of rejection or insecurity sneak in, I return to His word, His truth, my healing balm. 

Noah’s high school graduation is only days away. I will be joining other parents watching from the stands dabbing at the waterworks streaming down our cheeks. A mom, grateful and proud as I  honor my boy who has accomplished so much after pushing through many bumps (and boulders) along his path. A mom, shaped by pain and loved by an amazing God whose love never quits.

Tonight as I type, I weep. Graduation gratefulness stirring in me as I reflect. Tears of deep, deep thankfulness flow because Noah and I have arrived at a precious place together. Our  relationship- one marked by pain, love, and God’s perfect grace. 

Lord, thank you for your unfailing love.   piccollage my precious boy

 

 

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Celebrating another year of my dad’s life! 🎂 #grateful
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Celebrating another year of my dad’s life! 🎂 #grateful
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Grateful God gave me this one 29 years ago. AND that I get to celebrate with him today. He sure adds life & fun to our fam!
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Grateful God gave me this one 29 years ago. AND that I get to celebrate with him today. He sure adds life & fun to our fam!
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Happy (belated) birthday, dear Tangee! #dolls
Happy (belated) birthday, dear Tangee! #dolls
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Happy (belated) birthday, dear Tangee! #dolls
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Happy 26th to this fabulous son of mine! Noah, you are a light to all who know you - so funny, insightful, and loving. God sure blessed me with you.
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Happy 26th to this fabulous son of mine! Noah, you are a light to all who know you - so funny, insightful, and loving. God sure blessed me with you.
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“Behind all your stories is always your mother’s story, because hers is where yours begins.” – Mitch Albom
So thankful for your story, your life, and your love! Cheers to you, my fabulous mother. Happy birthday!
“Behind all your stories is always your mother’s story, because hers is where yours begins.” – Mitch Albom
So thankful for your story, your life, and your love! Cheers to you, my fabulous mother. Happy birthday!
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“Behind all your stories is always your mother’s story, because hers is where yours begins.” – Mitch Albom So thankful for your story, your life, and your love! Cheers to you, my fabulous mother. Happy birthday!
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Sweet reunion at the Reunion Kitchen!  Lovely friends from our newlywed days. 💕 So much fun reminiscing and catching up.
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Sweet reunion at the Reunion Kitchen! Lovely friends from our newlywed days. 💕 So much fun reminiscing and catching up.
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These are the good old days.
These are the good old days.
These are the good old days.
These are the good old days.
These are the good old days.
These are the good old days.
These are the good old days.
These are the good old days.
These are the good old days.
These are the good old days.
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These are the good old days.
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Yay, Micah Jack! 🎓
Yay, Micah Jack! 🎓
Yay, Micah Jack! 🎓
Yay, Micah Jack! 🎓
Yay, Micah Jack! 🎓
Yay, Micah Jack! 🎓
Yay, Micah Jack! 🎓
Yay, Micah Jack! 🎓
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Yay, Micah Jack! 🎓
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Congratulations!
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You're off and away. #graduationday🎓
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Congratulations! Today is your day. You're off to Great Places! You're off and away. #graduationday🎓
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Sister time!
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Sister time!
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Fun time celebrating our two grads on Sunday! They sure are loved. ♥️
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Fun time celebrating our two grads on Sunday! They sure are loved. ♥️
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Last day of high school. #thelasts #3daysuntilgraduation
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Last day of high school. #thelasts #3daysuntilgraduation
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This guy… #oneweekuntilgraduation #seniorawardsnight
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This guy… #oneweekuntilgraduation #seniorawardsnight
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The last boy had his last sports banquet last night. 
What an adventure these four years of baseball have been (Covid, injury, illness, and major back issues to boot). But mostly fun with fabulous memories. These senior boys are a special group. Proud of my Micah! #2weeksuntilgraduation #thelasts
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The last boy had his last sports banquet last night. What an adventure these four years of baseball have been (Covid, injury, illness, and major back issues to boot). But mostly fun with fabulous memories. These senior boys are a special group. Proud of my Micah! #2weeksuntilgraduation #thelasts
4 months ago
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My guys surprised me with a trip to LA to watch our Padres (missed Noah and Lauren). Too bad we didn't bring them luck.
My guys surprised me with a trip to LA to watch our Padres (missed Noah and Lauren). Too bad we didn't bring them luck.
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My guys surprised me with a trip to LA to watch our Padres (missed Noah and Lauren). Too bad we didn't bring them luck.
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