Kristin Saatzer

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The Light of Life

November 19, 2020 By Kristin Saatzer 2 Comments

Gloomy clouds dawned in the morning sky yet again. The Coronavirus closures coincided with weeks of rain and gray skies that are atypical for sunny Southern California where we pay the weather tax. The dreariness outside and relentless bad news on my screen merged with underlying anxiety, depression, and the loss of my in-person community. It all felt suffocating.

From the edge of my bed, I gazed out my window and prayed. As I asked Christ to lift the dismal, heavy weight off my chest and bolster me for another long day, a stunning beam of sunlight broke through the clouds. A fitting symbol of truth I had failed to remember – Jesus is the Light of the World and the light of my life. And through this Light of Life, I’ve been charged to shine for Him individually and in community.

In that morning moment, God shone a bright dose of bravery into my gloomy soul.

I wish I could say that after that experience, all was peachy for me. It was not. Yet, a shift took place in my spirit as I focused more on Christ’s light and less on the shadows of the world. I stopped marking each day’s end with an “x” in my journal. I sought out happy, good news stories. And with great intention, I reduced my intake of news and social media and increased my intake of God’s truth. I put this verse on my phone and stuck it near my bed and computer as a reminder: “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life” (John 8:12 NLT).

My bleak state brightened as 2020 carried on and I found wisdom as I focused on the Light of the World.

Eventually, the sun came out, but the black clouds of COVID stayed, as did the relentless torrent of bad news. And I deeply missed my friends.

One of the hardest parts of the pandemic (and my current health crisis) was and still is the absence of physically attending church. There is a hole in my week where there once was corporate prayer and worship. I’ve felt the loss of comradery, hugs, and screenless faces. We were created for community, weren’t we?

However, I remind myself that behind the monitors, the church is still The Church.

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill” (Matthew 5:14 NASB). You and I belong to a body of believers whom God created to shine like one luminous flame on a moonless night. A city on a hill. In these historic days, we have an opportunity to radiate as one for Jesus as never before. I find myself hope-filled and compelled by these words of Jesus to join fellow Christ-followers as we shine collectively in person and through our screens.

And today, as the calendar continues to turn and the holiday season looms, I lift my face to the Light of Life when I am frozen by the fear that uncertainty brings.

Therefore, I am determined that in my little world, I will be a light bearer for my Savior. “In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:16 NIV). The holidays may look so different than normal for so many this year (my family included) and this scripture inspires me in my mission to shine and serve. As children of the King, we can reflect His radiant love to those He puts on our path. Hurting souls in desperate need of hope in an often lonely, difficult season.

As this strange, scary, arduous, and sometimes wonderful year closes in, I reflect on my journey with Jesus, the Light of Life. The One who shines through His Church, His beloved sons and daughters. I keep on returning to His light and wonder where would I be without Him? Without His word to lead me? Without His wisdom to guide me? My heart overflows with gratitude to the One who continues to rescue me in the dark morning moments, who guides me with bright courage, and leads me to shine for Him.

 

PC: Bradley Dunn

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My Sis, Neil, and the 4th of July

July 4, 2018 By Kristin Saatzer 5 Comments

“Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy…”

Psalm 126:2a NIV

 

My sister Jeni is sunshine and smiles and one of the best gifts the Lord has given me. She paints levity and joy in every room she enters. God’s good medicine is my little sis.

She and I together have celebrated America’s birthday oodles of times. However, our experience two years ago was the best one out of all for me. A day of God’s sweet grace, hope,  and healing.

The week of July 4th, 2016, my sister and her family drove  down from Oregon to SoCal for vacation and time with loved ones.

Less than a month earlier, my family of  six experienced  trauma. The deepest waters of my life. As the awful continued, I believed I would never laugh again. Maybe a chuckle here or there I conceded, but sheer, deep belly- laughter vanished forever.

I was in a pit so deep that I had to push myself out of bed in the mornings. Nights of insomnia and tears were my consistent companions.

But when one has family in town, one must rally. And so I did. We enjoyed beach days, went to a Neil Diamond cover band concert, and ate and ate and ate.  A sweet diversion from the ache and reality of our circumstances. God used our dear ones from Oregon as a healing balm over our seeping wounds.

On July 4th, we gathered at my dad’s house for a day of swimming, tennis, food, and then fireworks. A day burned beautiful in my mind and heart. To my surprise, I howled that day; full belly-laughter all day long! God used my sis to shine a light in my tunnel of darkness. We were silly sisters once again: inside jokes, conversing in our own “language”, dancing, and singing. I joined Jeni in her infectious world of joy and delight. The group of us played, sang and danced to Neil Diamond music, and introduced our kids to him in our weirdo way. I felt unfettered, carefree and yes, surprised by my laughter.

As we drove home that evening, tears of gratitude fell. My boys, concerned after witnessing so much sorrow in me in the last weeks, asked me what was wrong with fear in their eyes. The words would not come as I sobbed,  the mix of emotions overwhelmed me. Yet, in that moment, my heart understood that we were  going to be okay.

We are okay.Continue Reading

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I’m In, How About You?

October 13, 2017 By Kristin Saatzer 5 Comments

If we’ve ever needed You, Lord, it’s now, Lord, it’s now,
We are desperate for Your hand, we’re reachin’ out, we’re reachin’ out,
If we’ve ever needed You, Lord, it’s now, Lord, it’s now,
We are desperate for Your hand, we’re reachin’ out, we’re reachin’ out

Let Your Church arise, let Your Church arise!            Casting Crowns 

 The happy crowd at the Route 91 Harvest Festival sang “God Bless America”, honoring their country and the veterans present on the stage. Just moments later, evil struck, bringing devastation and death; life will never be the same.

Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and body with grief.                    Psalm 31:9 NIV

I know many who attended this concert. None dead or maimed physically. Yet, emotionally maimed and changed forever.

How do we wrap our brains around the devastating events of this fall? Here in the USA and abroad: earthquakes, storms, fires, death, and darkness.  I am leery of switching on my radio, checking the news, scrolling through Facebook or even checking my texts. It seems each day brings heart-wrenching news from the world at large or from people I know experiencing sorrow or crisis. There is no making sense of it. Continue Reading

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The Secret Sauce Part 2

June 22, 2017 By Kristin Saatzer 1 Comment

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In my last post (http://wp.me/p4RztF-PI), we focused on, Seeking God First each day as the foundational ingredient in my Secret Sauce. Today, I’d like to add the rest of the fixings.

Unfortunately, we are not exempt from trials and trauma. Our favorite Bible characters were not exempt either. And certainly, the main hero of the story suffered beyond grasp. Jesus even told us that we would suffer in this life: “...In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33b

Through my tunnels, I have learned to find comfort in Christ. I find solace in scripture and song. Because of the many ingredients in this sauce, I have compiled a list of “secrets” to encourage you in your tunnel journey.

“Secrets” to Surviving and Thriving During My Tunnel Year and Beyond

Scripture-My journal is full of rich passages that spoke to me deeply. I have chosen my favorite 10 to share with you:

  • Joshua 1:5b, 6a, 7a, and vs 9
  • Psalms 23-26
  • Psalm 94:19
  • Psalm 130:5
  • Psalm 138:3
  • Isaiah 54:17
  • 2 Corinthians 4:8 and 9 in the Amplified Version
  • Philippians 4:13 in the Amplified Version
  • 2 Timothy 1:7
  • Hebrews 12:2 in the Good News Translation

Music– I have different playlists on my phone. Here are 10 from the many I compiled in my tunnel:

  • I Am Not Alone   Kari Jobe
  • Even If   MercyMe
  • Help From Heaven   Matt Redman
  • My Story  Big Daddy Weave
  • Let Them See You  JJ Weeks Band
  • My Hope is Built On Nothing Less  Hymn
  • It is Well  Bethel Music
  • Through it All  Colton Dixon
  • You Alone  Kim Hill
  • All I Want  Michael W. Smith

Community-I have amazing friends! I urge you to reach out to partners who will tunnel-walk with you. Maybe a support group or counselor? Ask around for recommendations and/or look for a Celebrate Recovery in your area: http://locator.crgroups.info/

Prayer– At times I ask for prayer (but not enough). Don’t be afraid to do so. I find others are happy to do something to help and this is something all can do. Also,  pray for yourself. I often pray the Psalms aloud.

Thankful Journal– Even on the toughest days, good things can be found. Counting my blessings is therapy.

Self-care–  Important! I struggle here. Thankfully, my friends nag me and get me out and feed me. Chocolate is wonderful medicine. Eat well. Sleep. Seek joy. Find fun. If money allows, get a haircut or massage.

News– I take it in small doses. The negativity (especially during the election) makes my low-spirits even lower.

Social Media– BEWARE: The lives of others seem better, happier and more fun than mine. Again, small doses.

Serve, Give and Encourage– When the time is right. I love to write and speak and both have been cathartic for me.

There you have it, The Secret Sauce. May God be our Solid Rock through each tunnel we meet in this life. And may we shine His light to a world in need of His Secret Sauce.

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